I grabbed the vase off my shelf.

“Would I ever really use this again?”

I shrugged, sticking it in the box with the others, before something clinked in my heart, making me squirm.

“Why are you dragging junk around?”

I knew that voice.

You see I’ve taken pride (yeah, I know, I know) in the fact that the majority of my shelving is open and thus requires me to not have junk. At least not have ugly junk; pretty, aesthetically pleasing junk is just fine, right? Of course, right! So in went the vase along with all my carefully concocted justifications: I needed it, it’s an antique, it brings in a pop of color, etc.

Yet that pull in my heart to be lighter, freer and junk-less beacons to me, like the smell of lilacs on the wind. I know the vase isn’t really the thing the Holy Spirit is asking me to get rid of. He’s asking me to get rid of those “aesthetically pleasing sins” that I like to pack around in my life. You know those ones when you don’t allow others to help you or bless you (because you would RATHER DIE than inconvenience anyone)? Those ones when you will not allow your daughter to participate in VBS because you’re too busy to sign up and help (because you’re a giver not a taker)? Those ones when your overarching perfectionism overrides the rhythm of rest that the Author of your soul invites you into every day (because you’re not a lazy/incapable person)? Those ones when you will show up if it kills you, because you are not a flake (because you are super woman and MUST keep perfect attendance)?

Yeah, I like to call these my “aesthetically pleasing sins,” because they are so very justifiable and they feel good and they might even look good to other people. But the cold hard truth is, at the heart of every one of those is perhaps the greatest sin of all: pride. And pride cannot- should not- be justified when it is a driving force for our everyday decisions. When it bars others out from helping, when it alienates and isolates us because we don’t really need anyone.

God has a remedy for this conundrum of life. He invites us into a rhythm of throwing off everything that so easily entangles us and running with perseverance the race set before us (Hebrews 12:1-3). It’s not a one time episode either, but a constant posture of our hearts.

We can’t operate to full capacity if the “additives” that are not contributing to our journey, even if they are aesthetically pleasing, are weighting us down. This is stuff that clutters our soul and our lives because we’ve tolerated its existence. Not only tolerated, dare say, but kinda shrug at it with an indifference that says, “I see you, but I don’t hate the looks of you.” Those are the things that pile up and weigh down our souls. But God calls us into a beautiful relationship of “throwing off” and running with intention and blitheness. I love the imagery of the word “throw off” because it’s an action word that requires our volition and strength, it isn’t a fruit of the spirit we’re gifted with- it is an act that requires US to be fully engaged and participating in.

Now this process isn’t always fun, because it’s a lot easier to justify that something needs to stay, rather than putting in the effort to actually get rid of it. We also have to truly get rid of it and not just put it in the “donate box” that sits in our closet for YEARS before we actually get around to it. If we don’t actually “get rid of it” then we run the risk of our children perhaps picking it up and thinking that they should keep it because they got it from us.  

OUCH.

I do not want to justify sin in a way that makes my daughters think it is a “pretty thing” to harbor, so that they will do the same. I don’t want them to feel like they must “do it all,” in order to be a contributing member. I don’t want them to refuse to accept help when they need it. I don’t want them to strive for perfectionism, instead of resting in God’s grace. I want them to feel like it’s ok to take their kids to VBS, even if they didn’t volunteer to help. I want them to see me take the dang vase outside, smash it against the sidewalk and endeavor to live a life that doesn’t justify- even aesthetically pleasing- sin.

This is my invitation to you; to not only take an inventory of your open shelving, but also to declutter your soul of sins that you’ve justified. You will be freer, lighter, but more importantly you will be better suited to running the race that God has set before you.

Nobody needs to be running with that pretty, blue vase under their arm, anyways. It’s just not good form. Take it from someone whose tried.